


Only If You Ask

by van_daalen



Series: JD Shepard [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Brief Language, Coming Out, F/F, Gen, LGBTQ Character, Shep's GF doesn't actually show up, post ME1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 03:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9529703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/van_daalen/pseuds/van_daalen
Summary: If there's one thing Shepard isn't good at, it's opening up to people. After the first battle of the Citadel, and Saren's defeat, Captain Anderson tries to get the Commander to take a break, and learns a few things about her in the process.-----------------Done for the LGBTQ+Shepard Week on tumblr. This was also posted on my blog, @the-hound-of-new-vegas{Theme: Coming Out}





	

Sometimes it seemed impossible to get Shepard to open up about her past. It was common knowledge that she was from Earth, though no one was sure from  _ where _ on Earth, and that she was the only survivor of a thresher maw attack. Besides from those two facts, however, the average person knew jack shit about the Alliance soldier. They weren’t exactly aware of it, but the truth was that Shepard was an enigmatic creature. With a sly smile, a shift of her gaze, and the twisting of a few honeyed words, she could make someone think they knew her perfectly… when in reality, she was as unknown to them as the far reaches of space.

Admittedly, not everyone was fooled by her charisma. That was why Captain Anderson always tried to read between the lines, ask one more question than necessary, and make note of even the ‘trivial’ matters. Shepard was his best soldier, and he wanted to be able to say he knew her.  _ Really _ knew her, not just like most did, but like his commander had known him. Of course, he’d have no easy time of it. There was no easy way to get Shepard to speak of little-known facts. If you were to learn anything of her, anything at all, it would be by her volition.

* * *

 

“They’ve earned a break, that’s for sure. This whole…  _ thing _ ,” Shepard said, gesturing widely with her hands to accent her point, “has certainly been hard on us all. It’s not really over, even with Saren dead… but we need a breather. All of us.” With a sigh she moved her arms to rest them on the railway, gazing out at the Citadel’s embassy. As far as she could tell, all the fires had been put out, though there was still plenty of reconstruction to be done. It bothered her to see such a beautiful place in pieces, enough so that she almost didn’t catch the Captain’s reply.

“If anyone on the Normandy deserves a break, it’s you, Commander,” Anderson responded, gaze drifting over the distant buildings. There was a toughness to his eyes, evidence that he felt some of the same emotions as Shepard. “You’re lucky Chakwas herself gave you the good-to-go, otherwise I’d still have you holed up in the hospital,” he added, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye.

“Is that so?” Shepard challenged, chuckling lowly.

“You bet. Most people don’t get to walk away just a few days after having a piece of shrapnel go straight through their chest, Shepard. I know you’re tough… but even you need to sit back every once in awhile, just let the rest of us take care of things,” the Captain continued. He kept his arms folded behind his back, unsure of whether or not a pat on the back would be appropriate. After all, there was a chance that Shepard was still hurt worse than she was letting on.

Based on the way she was favoring her non-dominant leg, that ‘chance’ was less like a chance, more like a guaranteed fact of life. At this point, Anderson knew the woman well enough to understand that she wasn’t comfortable with appearing vulnerable. The trait often caused trouble, like at the current moment, seeing as Shepard rarely ended up in tip-top shape. She never rested as much as any of her superiors would have preferred, and always pushed herself past her limits.

Now, as she turned to look at Anderson, it showed more noticeably than it had in months. Dark circles lay under her eyes, and the edges of a few bandages could be seen peeking out from the collar of her shirt. The fight with Saren had taken a toll on her- perhaps an even greater one than the Captain had originally anticipated.  _ Just another reason to make her go on shore leave, _ he thought.

“I’ve taken worse hits,” Shepard finally protested, trying to brush off the severity of her injuries. “Saren was a soft ‘lil bastard compared to a thresher maw.” A crooked grin spread onto her lips, pure smugness radiating off of her. It was probably just a front, of course, but Anderson didn’t feel like trying to break it down. So he switched tactics, hoping that there’d be something else that’d convince the woman to slow down for once.

“I’m in no position to argue with you on that one,” he admitted, letting Shepard have that small victory. “Still, don’t you want to take a few days to relax? Talk to some old friends, grab a few beers, maybe play a few rounds of golf?” That last part was a long shot, and he wasn’t surprised when Shep responded with a scoff. “Alright, alright, didn’t think so. But do you really not have anybody at home? Family, friends, maybe a boyfriend?”

Casual indifference had been the expected reaction. But a visible tensing of the shoulders, a quick look away, and the tapping of a foot against tile?... No, Anderson hadn’t expected Shepard to seem so perturbed by the suggestion. Concerned, he quickly tried to recover.

“... Girlfriend?”  _ Shit, _ he thought, mentally scolding himself. To his surprise, however, the woman notably relaxed, even popping a bit of a smirk. Shepard leaned more of her weight on the railing, almost seeming to scan the distance for a loved one. Part of Anderson had always had a feeling that she wasn’t really into men, based partially on the way she looked at Williams, but he had never felt the need to pry into that part of the soldier’s life. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he added, moving to stand next to Shepard. “Maybe you should take her out to dinner. I’m sure there are a few nice restaurants around here that would take ‘saving the galaxy’ as a reasonable excuse for not having a reservation.”

“Yeah, there are probably a few, at least,” Shepard replied, letting out an oddly natural laugh. It wasn’t often that she let this side of her show- the grinning, giggling mess with bright eyes and a sharp tongue. “It’s a shame we’re… ah, how do you say it?... Taking a break, I guess,” she continued, somehow not losing any of her smile. “I may or may not have missed her graduation because of Eden Prime. And, ya know, that whole ‘classified information’ thing can make excuses a little hard to come up with. ‘Oh, sorry honey, I was just taking a bit of a nap, then I just  _ had _ to tell the council about this  _ wicked _ weird dream I had! Won’t happen again, probably, I promise!’”

Not entirely sure how to respond, Anderson simply kept admiring the view, hoping that his silence wouldn’t be taken as disinterest. The fact that Shepard was being this open was a bit shocking, really, and he had no intentions of shutting her down.

“Guess this might be a good time to try and make it up to her, though. Might mean a few more people find out about her, but I can live with that. I mean, someone’s gonna spot the famed Commander Shepard at pride one of these days anyway, right? Heh, ‘s not even like I mind anyone knowing, really. Just… don’t talk about it much… Wait, shit, am I rambling?” Shepard asked, suddenly aware of the fact that she had just divulged more information about herself in two minutes that she had in the whole past month.

At first Anderson didn’t bother giving her an actual response, instead simply chuckling quietly. There was something so  _ amusing _ about Shepard, of all people, getting flustered. A struggle for the survival of all of mankind? She could handle that. But a little conversation about her girlfriend? That, evidently, was enough to make her a bubbly little mess.

“You’re really something, Shepard,” Anderson laughed out, flashing a grin to the woman next to him. “Now, you better go call up that girl of yours, apologize for missing her big day, and offer to take her to any restaurant on the Citadel, your treat. Well, mine, really, but don’t let her know that. Understood, Commander?”

“Aye-aye, Captain!” The woman answered, snapping into a quick salute, a grin plastered on her face.

“Good, now get going!” He finished, jokingly shooing her away. Though her limp slowed her down a bit, Shepard moved to the exit fairly quickly, only pausing to wave goodbye to her boss.  _ The universe really doesn’t make many like you, Shep, _ Anderson thought, shaking his head with a little laugh. With that he turned back to the railing, gazing out into the distance. There was still so much to be rebuilt, so much to be done, but he knew as well as anyone that they’d have to take it one step at a time.  _ Maybe I’ll take a break too, for once in my life, _ he thought. The sound of his omni-tool getting a new message interrupted his musings, and he let out a quiet sigh.  _ Then again… maybe not. _


End file.
